I
hope you’re all having a frabjious weekend. Until I get more of it down on
paper, I’m nearly out of Six’s from Scarlet Reign. I could pick the bones a
little more I suppose. I think I’ll move on for this week. Although it still
gives me trouble getting it just right, this is the opening six from my short
story, Squishing Whistle Pigs.I remember when insanity wasn’t a household word, when my own salvation was held in higher regard. Getting by in the world used to be a heroic act; honorable efforts would please our Godly, Beowulfean ring-giver and guarantee us glory, or at least a car that runs. Fate has put me in a compromising position since then. Today, life is honorable like a Banzai charge.It’s been two years since Erin left, together for nearly a decade. The love loss took her quickly.
That
Banzai charge stuff vexes me to no end. Yes, I know a Banzai charge is
honorable, but it’s still an all-out, mad rush to your death. After losing the
love of his life, that’s the kind of rationality the narrator has going on
inside, so it makes sense to me. Not so much to the few who have read the piece,
however.
In
any case, I hope you enjoy this week’s offering. Please visit the official site
for more great writers for Six Sentence Sunday, and click on my favorite Sixer’s
here: Wendy S. Russo, L.J. Kentowski, Loni Flowers, Kelly Seguin, Mae Clair, Daniela Renelt, Karen de Lange, Mackenzie Crowne, and Steven Montano.
20 comments:
Makes sense to me, too. That's a great opener that makes me want to read more, and the title does the same! Thank you so much for the name-check.
Awesome descriptive prose, yet again! I just love reading your writing M.L.! Great 6!
Densely lyrical prose with a kick. I love it! And the title? That alone leads you to read more. Great, six, M.L.!
I wish you could have seen my face! I love this so much. Thank you. :)
I agree, you have such amazing prose Mel. Seriously this was awesome!
Your narrative is always so seductive, ML. Why are you vexed? Love that word, by the way, and your title is grin inducing!
Super beginning, I think. Hooked me in right away.
Strong prose. Beginnings are always hard! Hang in there. Love your header.
I wonder if it's because banzai isn't readily familiar to a lot of readers, so they have to pause to wrap their minds around the meaning. Some may even be thinking of bonsai. (Would kamikaze be better?) Nevertheless, the emotions behind this are powerful, and the narrator's bitterness is palpable.
Compelling. Intriguing. Your prose shines, ML. I want to read more :-)
Wow, there's so much about this six that I love. You're off to a great start. Good luck, and I can't wait to read more.
That is beautifully poetic and sad. What a terrific opening! Oh, the title [SINGING VOICE] Rooooooocks! [end singing voice]
Nice work!
Wow, love it!!
I really love that first sentence. It sets up everything that follows so beautifully.
A wonderful six, and yes, I understand. Great six! :)
I can write prose all day long though it's so difficult for me to articulate my gratitude. It really means a lot to me for you to take time on your Sunday to stop in, read my work and comment. Thank you so much for your inspiring comments. Welcome to all of the new visitors.
So, I’m wishing my page had a reply feature so I could comment individually. Grr. ;) I'll make do.
All of your comments are so refreshing. They make me “want” to write all the more. I'm glad the title pulls you in. It's one of my favorites.
Karen, Monica, Mac and Jessica; I'm glad you “get” the Banzai notion. I'm vexed about it because I've submitted this short story for a class at the university, most of the students and even the instructor questioned the use of it. They didn't get the image of a life careening out of control to its doom. ;) I have considered using Kamikaze there Monica. I'm torn between them. (I love the word, vexed too, Mac. When I first heard it in Robin Hood, I started using it a lot. “It vexed me so greviously...” it's great!)
Mac; I'm amazed that you find my writing seductive. That's a wonderful compliment, because I consider my writing quite dark most of the time, especially in Squishing Whistle Pigs. A lot of deep hurt comes up in that one, though I try to make it somewhat comical. Of all people, I don't have to tell you that life is painful sometimes; this story is my way of coming to grips with the madness of the emotional pain we all deal with at some point.
Dana; I'm glad it made you laugh. If that got you, there are other snippets in Squishing Whistle Pigs that will make you do a spit take or milk come out your nose when you laugh. ;)
Thank you all again for your wonderful comments.
Your prose shines!! very cool six!
Mel, it didn't make me laugh. I was on the brink of whimpering. It think the quiet acquiescence does hit a raw nerve. And you wrote it brilliantly.
ah, I see. it is a bit of a glum story, but his sarcasim about the madness of things and events I do find to be humorous at times. he finds himself in an odd place where average mundane things in life start to seem nonsensical.
Thanks for visiting Maryellen, great to have you stop in.
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