Sunday, July 22, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday: Rape us God, Make us New

Posted by M.L. Falconer on 8:54 AM

I have missed Six Sentence Sunday like a Pooh Bear misses honey; although, I have a fine excuse for missing last week. My roommate/best friend, and I spent a three day weekend at his brother’s log cabin in beautiful McCall, Idaho. I’ll post some photos and videos of the trip as soon as I figure out how to post a video. Grr. I’m technology challenged. I was able to get some quality writing done while sitting on the back porch listening to the sounds of nature, birds, chipmunks, and thunder rolling through the valley, bouncing off the mountains of Tamarack, and my roommate made a video of a buck and doe moseying through the property. My phone has erratic service up there so I was only able to respond to a few blogs before it was lost for good.

Six Sentence Sunday is a monumental, weekly event where close to 200 amazing writers post six sentence snippets from their work. It's like a greatest hits album of the written word. Please visit  more Sixers by clicking the Six Sentence Sunday Link at the end of my post. 
My Six this week is one of my favorite passages from Squishing Whistle Pigs. The narrators close friend, Rachael, comes to pick him up on a Sunday morning to attend a church service as she believes it will do him some good to gain some “enlightenment”. He hasn’t been to one in many years and his broken heart has made him skeptical of it all. 

We pass the park where Erin and I would walk, and then turn onto Carmichael; pass the Civic Center for the Arts, its marquee emblazons, ‘local thespian Marge Burns reading the sensory, erotic poetry of John Donne, 7 PM’; pass a man wearing a sandwich board. He stands across the street from the EZ Come, EZ Go Mart. His chest says “rape us God, make us new.”
            I sink low in the seat. Rachael merges onto the freeway, eastbound. A sun ray shines through the overcast sky like a spotlight from the heavens, it’s quickly swallowed up.

As mentioned every week, like a scratched, vinyl 45, your visit here to read my work is appreciated beyond measure, and in turn, your comments inspire and “enlighten” me to ignite my passion for this craft. 
Please visit the official site for more great writers for Six Sentence Sunday, and click on some of my favorite Sixer’s here: Wendy S. Russo, L.J. Kentowski, Loni Flowers, Kelly SeguinMae Clair, Daniela Renelt, Karen de Lange, Mackenzie Crowne, and Steven Montano.


LOL, the title is hilarious, though the passage is decidedly not. What an interesting set of images you juxtaposed ... could be describing Anytown, USA.

Wow, what a powerful claim "rape us God, make us new" is. The implication makes me so nervous. In life, this kind of out in the open display of fanatism that celebrates suffering as a desirable goal on a journey to "self-improvement" makes me want to doubt humanity. I can't imagine what that kind of assent may do to someone who actually suffers a great deal of pain due to the loss of a life partner. A dangerous time. I must say you captured that moment very well. Deeply upsetting six, and I think I will remember these for a very long time! Fantastic job!

Great attention to the details that they see passing by! Each description is something to think about in and of itself. Love the line about the sun's rays. Awesome 6!

Thank you for visiting you three!

Dana: yes it is a strong and strange way of looking at religion. One of my inspirations for this story is a poem by John Donne. This poem, at least from my perception, details how the narrator is bitter with God but wishes and hopes that God would just force his way into his heart, to use his all powerful will to heal him, but when that doesn't happen the bitterness grows. so, the main character in my story, he has no choice but to be bitter because He wants to be healed but God won't break into his hard heart, instead there are all these religious oddities around him that just don't make sense ... like the strange sign on the man's chest, for example.

Here is the poem I speak of;



Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Stephanie: Thank you so much for your first time visiting and the wonderful comment. I'm glad you like the title.

As always, your posts inspire thought and an apprecation for lyrical prose. I love the picture this paints as well as the images it sends swirling around in my head. Well done!

Thank you, Mae! So glad you came by. I'm really looking forward to your novel coming out. The sexual tension you create between your characters is very steamy.

Your writing is so sneaky, ML. Busying my mind with vivid images while plucking away at subtly disturbing undercurrents in the background. Once again, awesome six.

Wow, such powerful and heavy words. Oppressive! I googled John Donne, since I had never heard of him before. I find it so interesting, that this (is it spiritual bitterness?) fuels your inspiration. It gives room to so many speculations about your character and of course speaks volumes of you as a writer. Oftentimes explaning things makes them far more fascinating - like an insightful director's commentary on a DVD :) P.S. Speaking of movies, I did find one Donne quote that I actually knew from a comedy called About A Boy. "No man is an island." :)

Mac: Thank you for that! You seem to be the first to "get" that from the text. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong and my hints were to subtle.

Dana: The inspiration comes from a lot of internal heartache. Squishing Whistle Pigs, though it's sometimes mistaken for a slight to religion, is really a spiritual search for this young man ... the moral being that spirituality is something that stems from within us more so that within the organized setting. The poem really struck me, this man so hurt and angry and fighting between opposing feelings of wanting to be healed and the bitterness of his heartbreak.

Good for you--getting that weekend away! It does the soul good.

I love the contrast in your snippet: we go from the "...sensory, erotic poetry of John Donne..." to "EZ Come, EZ Go Mart". From the "rape us god, make us new" --which has to make the reader think, to the "ray of sunshine" which immediately takes the reader to a vision of sunshine washing the earth below, like a spotlight.

So visual, so full of details. Excellent post.

I really liked the Holy Sonnet that you posted... I had never before read it. Such agony in Donne's words. Hasn't the struggle with faith been a catalyst for some mighty fine literature and poetry? As soon as I read "John Donne"--I suspect like most people, my mind went to "Death Be Not Proud". :-) I think my generation all had to learn that one in high school. ;-)

Babbling on, I am. Anyway, wonderful six, M.L. and welcome back!

What a great site Mel.

Where did you get all the graphics, and know how ... or is it knew how?

Great job!

Teresa: I do enjoy your babbling on. Please do more if you are so inclined. ;) Yes, I'm definitely attached to John Donne's poetry. It's dark but sensory and wonderful at the same time. Though I didn't realize my writing was as dark as it is, I strive to be something like Donne or Poe, and not necessarily all the time. I do have other genres of writing that are not nearly as dark. I do enjoy your comments Teresa. I'm glad you like this.

Dave: Thank you for visiting. I appreciate new visitors as much as my returning readers. The over all page layout came from a blogger template at and I've taken a year and a half of Web Development classes. As quickly as technology changes, what I had learned is no longer relevant but it's enough to make me dangerous. I can edit and manipulate templates to my will for the most part. the other graphics I use for each post are things I've found and collected from many web sites I visit on occasions. I hope I don't get a visit from the photo copyright police for that. ;)

Thank you again for visiting.

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